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ME

when I think of me I don’t think of me
I think of individuals who are me
souls secretly residing inside me
abide with the ones who fancy me
some have no names and hate me
roughly cruel all of the time to me
wish you were dead they say to me
whispers of worthless views of me
howl horrid beliefs around me
sometimes they overwhelm me
often floating just beyond me
smiles push them well past me
only to rebound and torture me
when positive views capture me
hold me high in the sky with me
loathing out for the day sans me
must they return redirecting me
expulsion cannot keep them from me
once again they reside within me
how do they get in my home of me
walk through my walls to get me
do I allow them in to torture me
seep through floors beneath me
weep from my ceilings atop me
creak through my doors seizing me
assuming they are friends with me
waft through a window before me
truly my only foes amidst me
again I chase them far from me
smiling I think of none but me
at times its nice to think of me
shifting agony miles from me
glows an image again being me
revealing lovely traces of me
releasing myself deep inside me
there is no one here but me

12.21.2020
09:44 PM


POINT REYES IN WINTERTIME


Color carefully stripped of
.....................................................trees
Ferocious wind to gentle
........................................................breeze
Brown far outweighs the
......................................................green
Lifeless stagnant sullen
......................................................scene
Still, so still before
..................................................me
Flattened grass below the
...................................................tree
Cattail fluff softens
..................................................sky
Vultures encircle, tide is
...................................................high
Lifeless trees covered in
.....................................................moss
Another tree, another
...................................................loss
Sinking sun befalls wildwood
...................................................vine
Shadows traverse––
...........................................................sunshine
Deer outlying in the
.....................................................brush
Rafters of toms and hens
...................................................rush
Storm is here, blackbirds
................................................fly
Into darkened grey
..................................................sky
Point Reyes in
..............................................................wintertime,
Coyote, elk, and quail––
....................................................mine

01.01.2021
11:45 PM


YOUR ARE ME

cross your path
now look away
bar the bond
in every way
our own accord
will never be
please move on
far from me
never pine you
nor ache for
it goes against
my inner core
we must never
win or lose
never to walk
in those shoes
forget to follow
in your step
or to tangle
in your web
sorry to be
seen with thy
to desert you
high and dry
blithe to not
see like you
no will to
eye your view
at no time
on your side
far from you
i shall hide
for the time
leave you be
woe to know
you are me

01.28.2021
08:54 PM

Excerpts from, BIG BOY PANTS

SPELLBOUND (Sonnet)

Now gaze the room briefly stopping on you
Only to see chiseled stone ere my view—
Granite jawline ‘neath pools rippling blue—
Lovely internal thoughts of you ensue.
Skin pinken, slowly draws me deeply in;
Tender, crushing sounds of faint violin.
Muse of my kissing those sweet lips so thin—
Lower my gaze to your beloved chin.
Legs crossed as strong hand rests on bended knee—
You peek across my dear, smile floats to me.
Beautiful pose and so delicately
You sit there, graceful as a seated tree.
I glance up without sound as lost is found,
You shift, turn around to leave me spellbound

09.13.2020
11:43 PM


TREE BONES

the skeletal remains of
a copse here, clump there
surround all of us;
blackened canopies.
collapsing behind us,
entirety of a forest.
ecosystem on the run,
combustion devouring,
suffocating and scorching
earth’s abundant life.
even ash dashes ahead.
limbless, immobile flora’s
charred sparks flare as
vaulting fauna fleeing
complete, utter terror
burning hoof and foot
leaving exit wounds;
those which can flee.
both camouflage and
habitat vanish into
midnight luminosity;
night now day, so
brightest of days
turns darkened night.
once all trees
are dead and gone,
and children ask
what were trees,
we will not be around
to point at their
even now beautiful
bones protruding
from the ground and
quietly say to them,
trees are what kept
everything alive.

10.04.2020
10:28 PM
 

WHERE DO POETS GO TO DIE?

asleep, i roll over and gently fall from the soft edge descending through clouds with a blackbird on my
tongue, fearing nothing as i bravely rush. benumbing condensation bathes me, stripping me of articulated
screak. bright lights widen brighter as the gray turns
to day, reducing my stutter to a simple multi-elemental
sentient being. fresh sunlight penetrates my full body
as gust and blast rip my threads from me, now naked
in my plunge. blackbird clings to my tongue using its
lengthy raking claw, drawing pressured blood. closing
my mouth, i bite down, severing its feet and spit them
to the wind, abruptly freed from this omen.

sun bright and blinding captures my full and direct
attention. nothing between the landscape and myself,
explosions of air seize me as i continue to drop, peering
down to note green, green grass.

without preparing myself for impact nor closing my
eyes, i sense blackbird blood traverse my face. impact
compels me into the grass—through the grass—leaving
me within the earth through to soil and tortured rock

11.21.2020
10:36 PM


TIME TRAVELER (Sonnet)

grandma in the living room flush with love
me on the floor smiling at her above
dead sister shines light—jubilant laughter
me jocose near her, before—now after
our dog in her bed—ran fast in the park
i close my eyes tight, and i hear her bark
mom rules the kitchen—her knife in her hand
peer through the lens of a loving dreamland
smiling ushers a laugh—then a good cry
focusing on face to face—eye to eye
i time travel as i view them like this
picture their faces in scenes of pure bliss
traveling benign space to snap the laugh
i settle for a silent photograph

12.05.2020
10:07 PM

Contact: al @ this website


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and reading my words. :)

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© avhaar.com All rights reserved. 1994 - 2021
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Big Boy Pants
by A.V. Haar

Big Boy Pants is a 103-page compilation of 75 original poems written in lockdown during 2020 and 2021. They are poems reflecting life, present and past while holed up during Covid 19. Thank you for taking the time to read my words.

Big Boy Pants
is available on Apple Books!
ISBN#978-0-578-86957-5


 

Apple Books UK Version



 

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